But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
