So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize