his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
