I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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