I just made out with a guy for $7.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
