yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
