I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
where does the pee come out of this thing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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