toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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