i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I will be naked everywhere
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
