If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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