No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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