guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
