I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
