I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
