i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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