Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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