did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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