brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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