Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
