Sry I called you an 8
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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