Got a toothbrush?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
