Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
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he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize