Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize