So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
