you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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