Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
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I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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