Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
