nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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