He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
