I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
