I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
