I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
