I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
