this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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