I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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