Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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