How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
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When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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