So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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