Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
