I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
