how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
