if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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