somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
