Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
