I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The uberlube is also flammable
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
