but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
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How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Pants are for mortals
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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