i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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