i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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