I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize