yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Boobs are out for the taking
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
