Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
