yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I die, sorry about rent.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Success! We fucked roommates!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
