and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize