I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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