That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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